I lost my girl (2013)
I lost my girl
on a warm August night
stars were falling, air was calm and bright
I prayed for our story,
for her, that she'd find
a way to calm the demons in her mind
I lost her to my ego,
not through neglect
and we had never even had a fight
I lost her out of pride,
I just couldn’t accept
her joy in a friend’s arms I had wrecked
Years have gone by,
seasons passed in turn
and between us only words that hit a wall
we tried to find some meaning,
like shouting down an empty well,
or maybe her heart was still too hard to heal
I walk along the road,
staring at today’s sky
and I see how many stupid things I’ve done
I wear a medal round my neck
for my lack of love and care
for all the times I failed and came undone
I saw her walking slow,
she’s overcome the pain
of a world that used to starve her from within
her gaze was dull and low,
and her pace was soft and thin,
and a key tattooed where once she held her flame
With a question mark
tattooed upon her head
she begs for just one fleeting shred of care
her stomach tied in acid,
her nature calm and mild,
a mother lost, not knowing how to bear
So I sing to her a song,
hoping it might soothe,
though I sing it with no more demands or plea
a love I locked away
in my glass cage of truth—
perhaps I’m seeking too the missing key
And I sing to her a song,
to see her smile again
though I won’t see her walking down the street
I know I’ll never forget her,
and someday I’d love to save her—
but maybe my heart is still too hard to heal
maybe my heart is still too hard to heal